The amout of emotions that just one day can encompass is exhausting. Today, in a mere three hours, I have gone from excited, to confident, to thankful, to frustrated, and now to morose. Take it as a sign that I am very much alive? My bed beckons me to come escape this moment, but I know chances are slim that I'll wake up again and be cured of this unwelcome sadness. I feel like I don't necessarily have anything groundbreaking or important to write, but this is my attempt to overthrow this bad mood by means other than my usual prescription of sleep. Ohh how I wish my cells and neurons fired and worked as they are supposed to. This chemical imbalance bs is quite the burden. Maybe I should become a noetic scientist so I can think them into working properly! Or is that just one big paradox? (I had to look that word up. Been trying to remember it for over a week now. Thank you, google!! Lesson of the day: a paradox is like an oxymoron, except an oxymoron pairs two contradicting words side by side. I.E. sweet sorrow. You're welcome.)
I do have a great deal to be thankful for, solely based on today. I have healthy foods awaiting the slightest stomach growl, my parents paid for my car's oil chance and trunk repair as only a part of my birthday present, and I only have to work a relatively low stress shift at work tonight, where I will end up with more money than I had yesterday AND will put me just two more shifts away from retirement from serving burgers and infinite diet cokes. Yes, infinite. That's how many diet cokes Americans demand. But it's okay! Because it's diet. What shrewd marketing. I even heard from someone today that said things I've been yearning to hear, temporarily boosting my confidence and hope ten fold.
I suppose I could read a book to wait out this mood slump. Too bad the "comical" book I purchased has me more concerned for children with inadequate parents and fills my heart with grief, as opposed to the actual goal of laughter and eye rolls. I just might be a little too sensitive.
Despite this annoying mood, my light at the end of the tunnel that is the month of June is almost here! My friend is flying down to the desert (mid summer, too! Such heroic dedication) for an entire week of shenanigans. She gets in Saturday night, and from that minute on, my life will be nonstop adventure for two solid months. Hopefully more follows. This next declaration may seem a tad over the top, bold, or overly confident, but I promise it to be an understatement. My friends are the best people this world has ever produced. I'm not saying they're the only people to fit in that hefty category, but they are certainly included in it. Time and time again, they prove in small or large ways, how to love and care for others. They are role models everyone should follow. I could write a million blogs on examples, but I'll just go with the one most pertinent to this post. Kate, who I never knew as someone to want a job, then keep it, then work hard at it, is busting her butt in two jobs right now. When one of her places of work temporarily shut down, she made up for the hours by selling clothes, donating plasma, and pinching pennies like they've never been pinched. Why is she working SO hard? To afford a visit to hellishly hot Arizona for her friend's birthday. The minute I confided that I forsaw having to spend my 21 Run alone or with a couple family members only, she put the gears in motion to make sure I had the best birthday in 21 years. She hasn't even arrived yet, but I'm already having the time of my life just planning our week together. My friends are the BEST.
I will be spending the next two nights in my apartment, as opposed to my parent's condo, and I admit I'm nervous. Like I made known previously, I need to be around others. I've lined up projects and tasks to fill my time while I'm there, and now just to pray for the motivation and willpower to do them. If all else fails, So You Think You Can Dance is long, inspiring, and always a good time.
To whoever reads these entries, thank you for your greatly appreciated feedback. I hope they at least mildly entertain :)
You're welcome!
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