Serenity

I have never been "good at" being alone. As valuable as "me time" is, being around people is much, much more valuable to me. I've been living alone for six months now, and I am more than ready to have roommates again-Even if those roommates are my family members. I was told everyone needs to live alone at some point in their life, and I do agree. I was challenged in new ways, and learned things about myself that would still be unknown otherwise. Lessons behind me, I cannot wait to come home to the opposite of a hot, empty apartment with scary neighbors. Amidst all the lonely and sad nights that have unwelcomely embraced me, alas a night of peace and calm. With my warm tea, soft music, and mellow ruminations, I am able to enjoy the winding down of a pleasant day. I was blessed with good company and tear-ignited laughter today. Who knew inflatable pool toys and young women unafraid of looking goofy and taking chances would produce so much joy?

As I take on the mountainous challenge of independence after a year and a half of relationship engulfment, I am proud-and quite frankly surprised-at my ability to actually be climbing up that mountain already. I have sought advice from those I look up to, let myself be sad, and above all mustered up resilience to rise to the top. I am even beginning to be thankful for this road bump. It comes in small waves, but it's a start.

I wrote a letter of which the subject may never even read, but oh the release from simply writing! It seems as if a fire has been lit...

With everything in me, I will make this week productive, positive, and it WILL fly by. Once Friday ends, it will be nothing but adventures, excitement, and learning. None of which I know how to prepare or what to expect. Just what I need. The ultimate challenge for a [self-diagnosed] OCD planner: line up months of grand adventures in unknown territories (physically and figuratively) with absolute minimal information given. I have complained and complained about it, but now I am ready to accept the challenge. Bring it.

I know falling asleep will still be a challenge, as will getting out of bed tomorrow and the next day. But God continues to provide comfort, encouragement, and courage that will always carry me through. Now to practice the daunting exercise of meditation to my rain sounds app.
There will always be better days. Today is the reminder I needed. Here's to tomorrow being even better (This self-motivating pep talk is just the first step).