Rollercoasters Should Stick to Amusement Parks

I prefer to wait until I have had a particularly moving day or life-changing thought before posting on here, but one small instance I just witnessed got me itching to write. Today's topic: Relationships. But of course.

I decided to stop by one of my favorite spots along the waterfront to watch the sunset this evening. This decision came spontaneously, triggered by a picture of a desert sunset sent from a friend, which I had to reciprocate. It was a race against the sun, but I reached the little roadside parking spot just in time to snap a few photos. It made me sad that my digital camera and my camera phone are both too often incapable of capturing just how magnificent our world is, but also thankful that my eyes are blessed with that capability.

While soaking in the breathtaking scenery which I can gratefully call home, I was about to pick up my current read: "A General Theory of Love" (I'm exploring the topic from all possible angles, since nothing fascinates me more) when I noticed the car next to me. The driver, a guy that looked close to my age, was making swift gestures that instantly told me he was fighting with the girl next to him. He stepped out of the car twice, just to get right back in, slam his door, and continue arguing. On his third attempt, he grabbed his jacket and stormed off---Only to circle my car and stop in front of his own, staring at the water and taking in deep breaths. My attention turned to the girl, whose face was buried in her hands, her shoulders shaking from the sobs. Back to the guy, he sat down in the grass, then collapsed down with one swift breath of defeat. I found myself congratulating him on leaving the situation, whatever it was, to calm himself down. Back to the girl, her tears weren't streaming down quite as quickly anymore, and it looked like she was on her phone-probably texting a friend or family member about her situation. I realized watching this whole episode had brought even me to tears. I knew exactly what each was thinking. He was frustrated and felt stuck, but he wasn't quite ready to give up. He could have walked down the scenic path into town not too far away, gone for a beer and left her there in the cold, but he didn't. He just lay down in front of the car, breathing in the fresh, crisp air. She was also obviously frustrated, but she was more hurt than angry. As unhappy as she was with him, she knew if he were to just open her car door and hold her tight, no words needed, everything would be okay. She knew he wouldn't do that, though. He was just a few feet away, but it felt like lightyears. Both were thinking, why couldn't she/he just resolve this exactly how I want? Why did he/she make me say those things? What are we even doing? Is this the end? Finally, after one last deep breath, the guy got up, got back in the car, and drove off. I knew he was still angry since he roared back onto the street a little to recklessly, and I knew her tears were still trickling. It was going to be a long night for them. I prayed that they will be holding each other close with apologetic and understanding words before they fall asleep.

Wishing I had gone out and at least given her a few words of encouragement, I sat there overcome with sadness. How many times have I been in that exact same situation? How many times have we all, in some form, been there? Relationships are the core and main purpose to all life. Why, then, are they the most confusing and difficult things there is? It's slightly ironic that I was about to delve into a book about this complicated subject just as that happened.

Wisdom is supposed to come with age, but what about all those older couples who still can't seem to figure out how to communicate without causing a raised voice or even tears? Why aren't we born with more knowledge on the subject, since we obviously need massive help on the matter? It pains me so deeply to know how difficult and oftentimes melancholic relationships are all across the globe. Personally, I have been through such tumultuous relationships that I am still trying desperately to get past. As much as I have learned, it scares me to think that it still might not be enough. I might end up as that girl in the car yet again. I absolutely do not want this fear to inhibit me from forming new relationships or enriching current ones. So again, why is it that I, we, don't know enough in order to guarantee stomach butterflies and trusting laughter for a lifetime? I agree that great lessons are learned through tribulations, and the phrase "it's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all" is famous for a reason. Still, it frustrates me to have to go through times of torment and world-shattering depression in order to learn one more tiny detail on how to have the best relationships. Maybe this book I'm reading will help me understand a little bit more. But will it really? Or is experience really the only way to grasp it? For now, I just wish rollercoasters stuck to amusement parks and left our emotions alone.